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PICTURES: DTIZ spotted in local woods

Photos submitted to the Depress are clearest proof yet that the elusive beast exists, claims local snapper.

The “Dover Town Investment Zone”, commonly known as “DTIZ”, has long been rumoured to roam the local area. But no confirmed sightings of the animal, which is notoriously shy and shuns public scrutiny, have yet been recorded.

DTIZBut these new images submitted today by Terence Nuktins, an amateur cryptodoverologist from Temple Ewell, are the first to conclusively show the DTIZ in its natural habitat, he says.

Very little is known about the DTIZ, which was long assumed to be a myth until it was implicated in the disappearance of a local furniture shop, but speculation is rife among ¬†experts such as Mr Nuktins who spoke to us from his shed “Woodland Command Post” today.

“I’ve been tracking the DTIZ for years and I’m very excited by this latest sighting as I’ve never been able to catch it on camera before.

“I did come close once, a couple of years ago, but all I found in the end was poo. Which turned out to be very interesting actually when we had a look at it. Looks like the DTIZ has a very varied diet and will eat anything from roots and berries, to kittens, and even your time and money.”

Dover District Council were unavailable for comment.

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