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BREAKING House for SALE

The Depress can today EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL that there is a HOUSE for SALE in the Dover area.

The property, which is on NUTKINS DRIVE, is said to be a spacious three bed property with a good sized living room and absolutely no history of serial murder.

Local house people were reported as being OUTRAGED by the very reasonable asking price.

“I simply can’t believe it, I’m OUTRAGED” said one man who definitely wasn’t an estate agent despite the suspiciously cheap suit while he just happened to be banging a sign into the front garden.

“At just £5.5 million per calendar month, this spacious three bed property with a good sized living room and absolutely no history of serial murders per calendar month is an absolute steal pcm.”

More on this DRAMATIC story as it unfolds.

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