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The Week* Ahead with Cosmic Gary

Aries
Your lucky numbers for this week are…not on this piece of paper.

Taurus
Look, I don’t know how to tell you this. Because I have no idea how to pronounce coccidioidomycosis.

Gemini
As P. P. Arnold sang, the first cut is the deepest. She was wrong.

Cancer
Yeah, I wouldn’t if I were you.

Leo
You’ll meet a tall, dark stranger. Sorry, typo. You’ll meet a tall, dark strangler.

Virgo
Don’t…turn…around…

Libra
You. You know what you did.

Scorpio
Listen, about that money you owe me? Don’t worry about it. I’ll pick it up…later.

Sagittarius
Defenestration is a good word. It’s also the correct word for you on Thursday.

Capricorn
You find out what Libra did. Shocking, isn’t it…

Aquarium
Blub…blub….guurrrgle…brrp.

Pisces
Remember, pain is just weakness leaving the body. And lots of unspeakable things entering it.

∗ OK, week-ish. If you’re lucky.

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